The day before Oscar: Some got Spirited, others got Razzed

Yesterday in L.A., The Wrestler dominated the Independent Spirit Awards -- and Mickey Rourke added another pre-Oscar laurel to his mantelpiece -- while The Love Guru took home top dishonors at the Golden Raspberry Awards. And speaking of Razzies: Uwe Boll may be ready to put on his boxing gloves again after receiving a "Lifetime Achievement" award from the Razzie-Dazzers. But, really, they couldn't have given it to a more deserving filmmaker.

Movies I can't forget (no matter how hard I try)

I still have a few more movies left to watch before I'll feel ready to complete a Top 10 list for 2008. (Yeah, I know: Every year, a new excuse for tardiness.) But I'm more than ready to dishonor the year's Ten Worst Movies. In no particular order -- because, really, they're not worth the effort -- my nominees for the 2008 Hall of Shame are:

Meet the Spartans -- The worst comedy of its kind since Date Movie.

Disaster Movie -- The worst comedy of its kind since Meet the Spartans.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- Even with a bigger-than-usual budget, Uwe Boll lives down to expectations.

I Could Never Be Your Woman -- This movie was so bad, it wasn't released -- it escaped. (No, seriously.)

Sex Drive -- Train wreck.

The Day the Earth Stood Still -- "Klaatu barada oh-no!”

Beer for My Horses -- And swill for the audience.

Wicked Lake -- Polluted.

Strange Wilderness -- Actually, more like a wasteland.

Four Christmases -- Ho, ho, ho? No, no, no!

Brain-eating amoeba on the loose

I know this is a seriously tragic story -- but, I'm sorry, I can't help thinking: If Uwe Boll hears about it, we're in for another lousy movie.

Boll goes Postal, Part II

My Variety colleague Dennis Harvey reports that Uwe Boll's latest may -- gasp! -- actually be worth seeing. Postal, Harvey writes, is an "energetic if scattershot farce" that "aims to be the It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World of bad-taste satires on an out-of-control post-9/11 world. Like that non-classic, its sheer exertion often impresses more than the number of actual laughs scored. Still, this anything-goes exercise isn't dull... " Based loosely -- apparently, very loosely -- on a series of videogames, Postal "is equal-opportunity cartoonish in embracing and sending up stereotypes and sacred cows, though most mainstream viewers -- not the target demo here -- will be appalled by certain ideas being used for comedy. They range from an opening 9/11 hijacker cockpit sequence to a fade with secret allies George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden skipping hand-in-hand into the nuclear explosion-riddled sunset."

Jeez, wait until Bill O'Reilly and Michael "Mad Dog" Medved hear about this one

Boll goes Postal

Uwe Boll – arguably the worst filmmaker in the whole, wide world – is playing fast and loose with New York Post logos. The newspaper, not surprisingly, is not amused. And not just because the editors aren’t big fans of BloodRayne or its upcoming, direct-to DVD sequel. But, I have to admit: Boll's faux website may be more entertaining than any movie he's ever unleashed.

Golden Raspberries

("Oh, God! Not another Razzie nomination!")

The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation -- dedicated, as always, to dishonoring the worst in cinema -- has released nominating ballots for the 27th annual Golden Raspberry Awards. And while write-in entries are allowed, preliminary nominees are listed in all Razzie categories.

The "hopefuls" (or perhaps that should be "hope-nots") for Worst Screen Couple include "Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit" in The Wicker Man (a great choice, actually), "Tim Allen & Any Juvenile Super Hero" in Zoom, and "Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts" in the ill-starred sequel that Razzie-Dazzies refer to as Basically, It Stinks, Too. Potential nominees for Worst Picture include The Da Vinci Code, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Material Girls, BloodRayne -- and, of course, Basically, It Stinks, Too. And in the brand-new category of Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment, you'll find the holiday-season offerings Deck the Halls and Santa Claus 3: The Escape Claus.

But don't look for perennial Golden Raspberry favorite Sylvester Stallone among the Worst Actors (a line-up that does include Nicolas Cage for Wicker Man, David Morrissey for Basically, It Stinks, Too and -- gasp! -- Sean Penn for All the King's Men) or Worst Directors. (Do you really have to be told that Uwe Boll appears in the latter group for BloodRayne?) Razzie officials admit in their latest newsletter that, much to their great surprise, they actually liked Stallone's Rocky Balboa -- a flick they had assumed would be Worst Picture material. " "[W]hen Rocky finally hefts those barbells again," they write, "runs up the Philly Museum of Art's steps, and starts 'working on some hurtin' bombs,' we found ourselves suckered in. And when Rocky breaks down crying over the loss of his beloved Adrian, we found ourselves misting up -- and for once, not with tears of laughter."

Of course, none of that stopped the Razzie-Dazzies from nominating two of Stallone's co-stars, Burt Young and Milo Ventimiglia, for Worst Supporting Actor. But, then again, you wouldn't expect too much sentiment from these guys, wouldn't you?

If you'd like to cast your very own Golden Razzie ballot, click here for membership info. Final nominees will be announced Jan. 22, and winners will be dishonored Feb. 24 (the night before that other L.A. awards show).