Sunday, January 12, 2014
If I were voting for Golden Globes...
BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL Nebraska
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL -- Amy Adams, American Hustle
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL -- Bruce Dern, Nebraska
BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA -- Gravity
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA -- Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA -- Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE -- Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE -- Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE -- Alexander Payne, Nebraska
BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE -- Bob Nelson, Nebraska
OTHER CATEGORIES -- On advice of my counsel, I invoke the privilege afforded by the fifth amendment to the U.S. Constitution, and I respectfully decline to answer any questions.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Buy this Jaguar, or Ben Kinglsey will rip your heart out
Is it just me, or is Sir Ben Kingsley giving off a distinct Sexy Beast vibe in this Jaguar commercial? (Not that there's anything wrong with that, you understand.)
Friday, January 10, 2014
Here's looking at you, Chris Christie!
Couldn't help thinking how much the embattled New Jersey governor sounded like Claude Rains during his marathon press conference the other day. The more I hear about Chris Christie's Bridgegate problems, however, I wonder whether he's actually taking his talking points from someone else.
Saturday, January 04, 2014
Isn't it time we forgive Geogre Clooney for Batman & Robin?
Ever since I uploaded this 1997 interview onto YouTube more than six years ago, I've noticed a steady stream of nasty, nastier and obscenity-stuffed comments by people who absolutely hated Batman & Robin. And, look, I'm not a major fan of that flick, either. But c'mon people: Can't we let bygones be bygones? It's not like Geogre Clooney hasn't made it up to us. This year alone, he lent strong to Sandra Bullock in Gravity, one of my favorite 2013 films.
And later this year, he'll be front and center in a movie I'm extremely eager to see, after seeing another movie that touches on the same subject.
Also: As I have noted before: If you go to the 2:19 mark on the above YouTube clip, you'll hear Clooney say some nice things about Michael Gough, the late, great Brit actor who played Batman's butler Alfred in four Batmovies. For that reason alone, I'm more than willing to cut Clooney some slack.
Friday, January 03, 2014
Jeff Wells: The sequel Or: The days of whine and poses
Obviously, I have hurt Jeff Wells to the quick by quoting some of his whack-job emails. So he's done what any bully does when someone stands up to him: He's threatened to tell my mommy on me. Unfortunately, since my mother is five decades dead, he has done what I assume he views as the next best thing: He has started complaining to my past and current editors in a huffy email.
But wait, there's more: When I thanked him for this new mother lode of comedy gold, he re-emailed the same people, claiming I was somehow violating a sacred trust by revealing a "personal correspondence." So personal, in fact, that he sent me a copy. The money quote:
It's flat-out slanderous of Joe to publish this. It's foul and icky and depraved of him to expose this information. It will harm my rep as I've never crossed the line by publishing this kind of personal material. I've begged him to please take it down and let bygones be bygones and he hasn't responded. Does Joe still review regional stuff for Variety? I need to appeal to his editor to appeal to him on this matter. Do you know who I can write? Who I can call? He's really gone off the deep end here.
I'm naturally calling Variety on my own and asking [name redacted] if she knows anyone, etc. Please help me on this. This is awful. Do you know Joe? Can you cal him and try to get him to chill out? I've written him seven or eight times over the past hour and he hasn't responded.
Jeff, if you're reading: This post is my response.
Jeff Wells: Threat or menace? Or: Is half a stiffie better than none?
Cialis, asshole. And it feels great to be walking around with half a stiffie, let me tell you. I swear to God, I'd love to take a poke at you. Stay out of my fucking sight at the next film festival we both attend. Look at me cross-eyed just once and I'm going to come over and get within 18 inches and spit right in your face. If you want to take it to the next level after I do that, fine. That'll be your call. But I will give you a slight saliva shower if you so much as look in my direction.
All fine and good, but I have to ask: If he's only getting "half a stiffie" with Cialis, is he really getting his money's worth?
Also: Can one hang an emotionally vivid cowboy hat on half a stiffie?
Finally: When he says he would "love to take a poke" at me, you don't think he meant... well, I mean, I can't picture Jeff as being much of a Lonesome Dove fan, but you never know.
Thursday, January 02, 2014
My Top 10 of 2013
(To be sure, at least one hasn’t yet opened in a Houston theater – but it will, soon.)
These are, of course, purely arbitrary and totally subjective choices. And I’ll freely admit that, a decade or so hence, I might look back on the following lineup and want to make additions or deletions. At this point in time, however, I can honestly state these are the 2013 releases that impressed me most. And best. So there.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
My favorite take on Wolf of Wall Street so far
Friday, December 27, 2013
Peter O'Toole and Lenny Bruce: Together again for the first time
This is the city: Los Angeles. The year: 1962. Lenny Bruce, a free-wheeling comic who has brazenly courted controversy, is out carousing with Peter O'Toole, a young Irish actor awaiting the release of the movie that will make him a star. Pills, pot and booze figure into the festivities. What could possibly go wrong?
Quite a lot, as Joseph Wambaugh recalls here. (Hat tip to Todd McCarthy.)
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Great filmmakers view Christmas morning
A funny thing happened on my way out of Justin Bieber's Believe
So I'm putting on my coat and getting ready to leave the theater after seeing Justin Bieber's Believe this afternoon, when I notice a small group of young girls standing around me, looking quite quizzical. One of them -- whom I'd peg as 14, tops -- asks me, smiling but serious: "Are you a believer?" And for a fraction of a second, I think, hey, it's Christmas Day -- maybe I'm about to recruited for some Christian group...
But no: I quickly realized they were Justin Bieber fans, part of the group that had sporadically cheered each time Bieber said (or sang) something they found impressive during the movie we'd just watched.
(Update: I have subsequently been informed that the girl probably asked if I were a Belieber, not a believer. Quite possibly.)
And of course, I am certain -- as certain as the turning of the Earth -- they were downright flabbergasted to see someone of my, ahem, advanced years in attendance at an opening-day screening of a movie about.... well, such a young pop star.
So I politely explained that, yes, I enjoy some of Justin Bieber's music -- but that I was there to review the movie for Variety. And while I was at it, I suggested they look for my review later today on Variety.com. I am not quite as certain about this, but: I think this may have been the first time any of them had ever heard of Variety. On the other hand: I'm sure they'll tell all their friends, and their friends will tell their friends... and I will wind up generating a lot more hits for the Variety website than I did with a far less favorable review I wrote about another movie I saw at that very same theater seven Christmas Days ago.
By the way: This is a pretty nifty music video for "All Around the World," which Bieber performs in Believe. It's got a great Eurodance beat -- the sort of thing I used to dance to, when suffciently inebriated, before my knees went bad on me -- and a cameo appearance by Ludacris.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
My favorite un-Christmassy Christmal carol
A dear friend introduced me to Luce's "Buy a Dog" a few years back. And even though it has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, the song has gradually evolved into something much more than a personal favorite -- it's my own private Christmas carol, the one I play over and over again this time of year.
Why? Well, for one thing, it's one of the most purely joyful pop tunes I've ever heard, a great choice for the season to be jolly. And during the time of year when we're eager to express love and friendship through gift-giving, I like to think that the greatest gift any of us can ever receive is hearing someone say: "All your life, I have got your back." Also, I must admit: The final lyric -- "It's a miracle that we're even here and alive!" -- has, for more than one reason, become my personal motto.
Sappy? Maybe. But, hey, I can think of far worse things than dying and finding out that God is really Elvis. And, not coincidentally, that's one of the inviting possibilities offered in "Buy a Dog."
The above video evidently was concocted by an admiring fan, not a record-label factotum -- which makes it all the more enjoyable, even for a cat person like myself. Think of it as my Christmas present to you.
Merry Christmas. And remember: It really is a miracle that we're even here and alive."
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Words of wisdom from The Master: Robert Evans
“@JoeLeydon: @The_RobertEvans is so right: My biggest problems begin when I think no -- but say yes.” Fuckin ay right !
— The Robert Evans (@The_RobertEvans) December 21, 2013Friday, December 20, 2013
Martin Scorsese's It's a Wonderful Life 2: The Wolf of Bedford Falls
Sunday, December 15, 2013
R.I.P. Peter O'Toole, Tom Laughlin, Joan Fontaine and...
I scarcely know where to begin. I know I need to write something about my favorite film performances by O'Toole -- Lawrence of Arabia is on the Top 5 list, but so is The Ruling Class and My Favorite Year. And yet, I also should write something about Laughlin's fleeting heyday as a genuine pop-culture icon. (Billy Jack had one of its very first test engagements in New Orleans many years ago -- and I wound up being one of the first critics to praise it, in a review I wrote as a free-lancer for, no kidding, the weekly Catholic newspaper The Clarion Herald.) And how could I not write something about Fontaine and her Hitchcockian double play of Rebecca and Suspicion.
But the hour is late, and I am too weary to do justice to any of these folks right now. And, frankly, I have had enough of death for today.
12 Years a Slave cops top Houston Film Critics Society award
BEST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
But wait, there's more. The official HFCS Top 10 of 2013 includes:
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Director Eric Heisserer waxes eloquent about Hours star Paul Walker
As I have noted before, his passing seems all the more heart-rending because of its spectacularly bad timing, coming before Walker could measure the response to his career-best performance as an anxious New Orleans father desperately trying to keep his prematurely born daughter alive in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Hours writer-director Eric Heisserer alluded to this terrible twist of fate when he told CNN this week:
"[T]he truth of it is, I'm angry. And I've been angry about this for a while. This movie was a real turning point for Paul. He had gushed to me about the new offers he was getting from people who'd seen his performance in Hours, and his career was finally going in a direction that he was excited about for the first time in many years. I told him at the time that that's what this movie was, that I was just warming him up for bigger and better things. It was a springboard...
"So the fact that this is his swan song, it, I don't know -- it makes me mad. He doesn't get to benefit from all this hard work now."
One of life's greatest tragedies is a promise that will remain forever unfulfilled.
Saturday, December 07, 2013
R.I.P. Edouard Molinaro (1928-2013)
Sometimes, all you have to do is direct one film -- one singular film -- to guarantee your shot at immortality.
Chances are good you've never seen (or even heard about) French filmmaker Edouard Molinaro's only Hollywood-produced effort -- Just the Way You Are, a slight but likable 1984 dramedy best remembered (by the few who remember it at all) as a highlight of Kristy McNichol's short-lived movie career. And it's extremely likely you've never seen most of the many movies he directed in his homeland.
But even if you're the type of moviegoer who avoids subtitles as avidly as Superman keeps his distance from Kryptonite, you've surely heard of, and have likely enjoyed, his all-time most successful French flick: La Cage aux Folles, the enormously popular 1978 international hit that spawned two sequels, a Broadway musical, and a high-grossing Hollywood remake.
Molinaro's La Cage is emblematic of a time in US art-house history when a savvy distributor (in this case, United Artists Classics) might be able to keep a movie planted in theaters long enough to slowly but steadily build a crossover audience, and possibly turn a popular entertainment into a full-fledged pop-culture phenomenon. Indeed, in Houston, La Cage ran long enough at the now-shuttered Greenway 3 Theatre -- the better part of a year, actually -- to build an audience loyal enough to keep coming back to that venue for more alt-film fare for 20-plus years.
Not incidentally, La Cage aux Folles did its bit to make straight moviegoers less uncomfortable with the concept of same-sex marriage, decades before many of those moviegoers were able to accept such unions in real life. Which, of course, is another good reason to pay due respect to Edourad Molinaro, who passed away Saturday at age 85. Many better-known directors have left behind less significant legacies.
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
R.I.P. Eric Harrison -- Please help him rest in peace
For those of you who have always wanted to bury a film critic -- and you know who you are, so don't be coy about it -- please consider making a donation to the funeral fund for my late colleague and fellow founding member of the Houston Film Critics Society: Eric Harrison, formerly of the L.A. Times and more recently film critic for The Houston Chronicle.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Talking with Paul Walker about Hours
In Hours, writer-director Eric Heisserer’s suspenseful indie drama, Walker plays Nolan Hayes, a loving husband who rushes his pregnant wife to a New Orleans hospital just before sunrise on Aug. 29, 2005 – just as Hurricane Katrina begins its brutal assault on the Crescent City. Unfortunately, Nolan’s wife dies during childbirth. Even more unfortunately, his prematurely born daughter must remain inside a ventilator for at least 48 hours.
As I wrote in Variety after the drama’s SXSW Film Festival premiere last March: “Hours is practically a one-man show, with Walker alone on camera for lengthy stretches as Nolan passes time talking to his baby, or himself, and dashing hither and yon between battery-cranks while on beat-the-clock explorations and supply runs.” Walker “capably and compellingly rises to the demands of the role,” and “gracefully balances the drama on his shoulders.”
But the thing was, once we got rolling, it was good. It wasn’t until I got home at night, and looking at the next day’s work, what was in store for me, that self-doubt would creep in. But once you get there, and you get into it, it was like, “I’m there. This is OK.” Being away from it was tougher than being in it.










